I don’t know if any other song from the Beatles repertoire, recorded in 1966- the name of a Street in Liverpool, would’ve smelt as sweet, or as melodious, if they’d named it Dame Penny, or Money-Penny for that matter. One cannot imagine a world without their iconic song named Penny Lane. It’s one of my favourites, and John Lennon created it. Names catch, they steer, they stick, they mean so much more than their sound and their spelling, right?I have a nickname, as any Bengali, worth his salt must take on- a *‘daak naam’ and mine is Reena. I am Reena to me. It is my identity- meaningless in the Sanskrit dictionary perhaps, but it’s who I am in my head and heart. It holds my entire childhood, enclosing memories, that my being reaches into in stressful times. It’s me! It calls out in my dreams when I dream of myself as another- split and flying around in astral turf, in an astral body. It’s stellar, this name. What’s in a name said Shakespeare, a Rose….etc. we know what he meant to say, but I don’t buy it. A Rose can only smell as sweet as a Rose and by no other name. The Rose was born, and it stayed a Rose, in a myriad colours, with its sweet fragrance. Say it out loud-inscribe it someplace secret, in a forever place :
names inscribed- lovers, siblings, brothers, sisters- you name it!
‘Say my name Say my name, say my name,
If no one is around you
Say baby I love you
If you ain’t runnin’ game
Say my name, say my name’
A song by Destiny’s Child, that circles around the name game, and drove folk to a frenzy. Why do you think? Because a name is an identity, and when a lover pronounces his lover’s name, it matters because it means everything- it’s Love clasped in an embrace between two lips, and a callout to seize it.
I wondered, when my children were to be born, what I’d call them. The names had to mean something- it was going to be their identity forever more, and would be tied in intimately to their names.
In India, we name our children with great care, always have. I know that when a child comes into this world, in the west, one must be ready with a name, because the baby is registered at the hospital, and a lot of thought goes into the name well before its fortuitous, blessed arrival. It is mind-boggling how one eventually settles for a moniker that is to last a whole lifetime, almost defining the very character of a human. Ah! Don’t exaggerate I tell myself, but correct me if I’m wrong- isn’t a Rajesh different from a Vinayak- or a Robert from an Austin or a Sam or a Gary?
Do all names feel the same? Absolutely not. When we read a name on a piece of paper, we are already imagining a person, building a character around it, and judging the man or woman before we set eyes on them, are we not? I know I inevitably do it, and am constantly surprised at how accurate the image turns out, or for that matter, how utterly wrong I was. A name’s not just a name.
What about Indian names like Savitri (so pious one might say) or a Meena (commonplace), a Rekha or a Bhavna and Bhakti? An Arunima is not a Maya. Boys- Avinash, Akshay versus Chatura and Daksh?
Are you seeing these folk? Can you tell how different each one sounds and therefore appears in your mind’s eye?
A name is for keepsakes. A name spells itself before it appears before you in human form. A name is a noun- common or proper- it has a form and a smell and a feel. We are sentimental about names.
A laptop – a keyboard and a mobile are names of things, and we attach ourselves to these common objects because of the purpose they serve. Yet, I still remember with real emotion, my first laptop- a Dell. It takes on a form and a shape and makes me smile. Common noun but hey, the value of its joyful memory- I called it my alter ego!
A Sarvavyapak (even if it’s a mouthful, is my dad’s name) and a Purabi (my mom’s name) have massive sentimentality attached to their sounds when I say them out loud. Say your parent’s names out loud and tell me you feel nothing. What’s in a name did he say- well, my entire world, my childhood, my insecurities, my joys and all pieces of me, which led to this Me today- are all wrapped up in names that sound the knell on my heart, repeatedly, echoing fragments of me into each new day.
What’s your Name story?
©kamalininatesanAug2020
*daak naam : pet name
Enjoyed reading this article Kay ,you are quite right when you say that lots of memories are attached to a name .My real name being Vandana ,I used to get quite annoyed when people mispronounced it and never took the effort to try to say it correctly .Even today my childhood friends only call me by my pet name – Sweetie and that brings back all the childhood memories and till date I resonate with my pet name more than when my friends call me Vandana ,the latter I feel has a a more formal relationship somehow ,I know it sounds weird.Im Glad most people now can pronounce my name in Thailand and the ones who can’t just called me V ,Van so well I Guess there will be many more pet names along the way ❤️Thanks for sharing this insight and keep writing ✍️ enjoy reading your articles 🙏🏽
Yes, I thought folk would resonate with this Name piece. It truly has a special place for a human- names do make all the difference. I’m glad you liked it Van. I’m also glad you seem to be enjoying my writings, and it delights me no end. I love sharing my thoughts and when they sit well with my readers, my day is made. Thank you dear friend, much love
There is lots on a name!
No doubt.
Such a thoughtful piece!
Thanks Anika. It struck me as significant, so I thought why not write about it!
Nice piece, Kay!! The biggest name decisions I have taken is naming our two children. working out okay so far :-).
I’ve actually been curious about your children’s names- they are beautiful. I’m sure you too have a story to tell, so please share it. Glad you read and enjoyed the piece Chetan. Thank you for reading.
My pet name is Appu – and there are a select few who use it or are allowed to use it. The older people in my life do out of habit, the new entrants in my as they become dear to me, gradually slip into habit of calling me by my ‘Daak’.